Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize