If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
