i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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