who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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