We're facebook friends in real life
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
