Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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