Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
