My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
