I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
