four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize