I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
