I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
