I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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