I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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