I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
