no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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