Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
