Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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