Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
