I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
