I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
