I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize