Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Success! We fucked roommates!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize