I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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