I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize