Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
