Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
