So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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