Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
