i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
