Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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