you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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