I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
