Plan B is the new Plan A
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize