Can Purell be used as lube?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
