If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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