so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
