I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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