only if we run a train.
done.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
