I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
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A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.