My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
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I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
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We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.