When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year