can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
