If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
