We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
