Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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