margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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