when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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