Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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