Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
MIDGETS
????
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
