Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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