GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We were destined to go to rehab together
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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