i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
