i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
