haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
