when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He? As in you personified your dick?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
