People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
