I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
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Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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